Will's Coffee House

John Dryden, Dramatist, Critic, Poet Laureate, and my ancestor, frequented a coffee house called Will's almost daily, where he would hold forth on sundry subjects with great wit and aplomb. Same deal here, only without the wit or aplomb.

Location: Large Midwestern City, Midwestern State, United States

I am a stranger in a sane land...

Monday, January 23, 2006

Bad Sleep = Bad Sign

Normally, I'm quite a good sleeper--insomnia occasionally, but nothing absurd, and usually it happens on days that I've napped extensively, so it's not too hard to find the causative link there. But last night I woke up at least four times--those sudden "oh my God something horrible is happening" jerk-awakes that are just no damn fun, especially since you have to wake up enough to realize that, no, nothing is immediately wrong externally (except for the fact that clearly something is internally), and then you have to get back to sleep while worrying about what that internal glitch might be. And when I woke up fully--no need for the alarm clock this morning--I realized what it is: the campus visit. It's coming. This time next week I'll be packing. I'm going. It's real. And the 'clench' has begun. Travel. Scrutiny. Performance. Oh my. Plus, plus I continue to not hear from any of the other schools I interviewed with...and the longer I wait, the less likely it is that they'll call...Sigh. So I have reasons to be anxious and depressed. But--and I suppose this is good, in a perverse way--I have reasons to be anxious and depressed. At least I'm not wandering around in a muddled fog, feeling helpless in the face of ignorance as to that cause of my jumpy bleakness. Or bleak jumpiness. Not sure which. Sigh. And this is only the beginning...


Post a Comment

<< Home