Another Meme
I keep getting tagged...thanks, abdme--yet I have no one on whom to foist such things. Still, not to be a spoil-sport...
What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was working for my father's law office as a paralegal right before being switched over to being the entirety of the accounts receivable department. I was living with the woman I'd later marry and our mutual friend in Los Angeles. I drove a scooter to work, even in the rain. I had very little money and didn't mind.
What were you doing 1 year ago?
Pretty much what I'm doing now. I was/am lecturing at a major university--same class, though they've given me extra courses. I was missing cues that my wife wasn't happy. I was brooding over my failure in the job market. I was reasonably miserable. I had very, very little money and I minded a lot.
Five snacks you enjoy:
Oreos--but only within, like, the first 30 minutes of opening the package--they have to be cut-your-teeth-on-them fresh, or forget it.
Ruffles and Green Onion Dip--not the kind in the jar, the kind you waste an entire carton of sour cream to make.
Buffalo Wings. Ranch dressing preferred over Blue Cheese.
Oven-Warmed Pita and Tzatziki
Caviar, Diced Onions and Cream Cheese, on Toast Points, with Champagne to chase. Let it not be said that I'm not spoiled and pretentious.
Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
Let's Misbehave - Cole Porter
Yesterday - The Beatles
The Obvious Child - Paul Simon
I am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General - W.S. Gilbert
The Ballad of Gilligan's Island--both versions!
Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
Move to the Italian Riviera.
Stop screwing around and finish the novel.
Sleep more.
Eat better.
Swim.
Five bad habits:
Not exercising enough.
Eating really, really, appallingly, immaturely bad food.
Did somebody say Xbox?
Mmmm...Network TV...
Does porn count as a bad habit? No? Whew--I mean, that is--not that I ever--can we change the god-d**ned subject please???
Five things you like doing:
I thought we'd dropped porn as a subject!!!
Did somebody say Xbox?
Swimming. When the hell is spring going to roll around?
Teaching.
Reading. Anything. Everything. Except Anne Rice. Never, never again, not even if she goes back to her day job of writing proper pornography...Not that I ever--dammit! New topic!
Five things you would never wear again:
Clip-on suspenders. Either they're real, or they're not.
Boots. I'm not in construction, I don't ride horses, and I'm not gay. 'Nuff said.
Any piece of clothing that plays music when you press part of it. Same goes for clothing that 'lights up.' Grow up, for God' sake.
Anything yellow. Just not my color, folks.
Speedos. On a skinny little kid taking swimming lessons, they're OK--past 25 or so, they're just an act of universal cruelty.
Five favorite toys:
Did somebody say Xbox?
The cat is a toy, right?
2-XL. That robot 8-track player from the late 70s? Anybody remember that? Best toy I ever got.
Stretch Armstrong. Did you know that when Stretch Armstrong is in a swordfight and gets stabbed that he bleeds a thick blue liquid that coagulates on the floor of your closet and has to be professionally sanded off? I found that out the hard--and painful--way. It was still worth it.
Does this category include sex toys? No? Good, because--that is--I mean, not that I ever--all right, enough of this s***!!! I quit!
What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was working for my father's law office as a paralegal right before being switched over to being the entirety of the accounts receivable department. I was living with the woman I'd later marry and our mutual friend in Los Angeles. I drove a scooter to work, even in the rain. I had very little money and didn't mind.
What were you doing 1 year ago?
Pretty much what I'm doing now. I was/am lecturing at a major university--same class, though they've given me extra courses. I was missing cues that my wife wasn't happy. I was brooding over my failure in the job market. I was reasonably miserable. I had very, very little money and I minded a lot.
Five snacks you enjoy:
Oreos--but only within, like, the first 30 minutes of opening the package--they have to be cut-your-teeth-on-them fresh, or forget it.
Ruffles and Green Onion Dip--not the kind in the jar, the kind you waste an entire carton of sour cream to make.
Buffalo Wings. Ranch dressing preferred over Blue Cheese.
Oven-Warmed Pita and Tzatziki
Caviar, Diced Onions and Cream Cheese, on Toast Points, with Champagne to chase. Let it not be said that I'm not spoiled and pretentious.
Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
Let's Misbehave - Cole Porter
Yesterday - The Beatles
The Obvious Child - Paul Simon
I am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General - W.S. Gilbert
The Ballad of Gilligan's Island--both versions!
Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
Move to the Italian Riviera.
Stop screwing around and finish the novel.
Sleep more.
Eat better.
Swim.
Five bad habits:
Not exercising enough.
Eating really, really, appallingly, immaturely bad food.
Did somebody say Xbox?
Mmmm...Network TV...
Does porn count as a bad habit? No? Whew--I mean, that is--not that I ever--can we change the god-d**ned subject please???
Five things you like doing:
I thought we'd dropped porn as a subject!!!
Did somebody say Xbox?
Swimming. When the hell is spring going to roll around?
Teaching.
Reading. Anything. Everything. Except Anne Rice. Never, never again, not even if she goes back to her day job of writing proper pornography...Not that I ever--dammit! New topic!
Five things you would never wear again:
Clip-on suspenders. Either they're real, or they're not.
Boots. I'm not in construction, I don't ride horses, and I'm not gay. 'Nuff said.
Any piece of clothing that plays music when you press part of it. Same goes for clothing that 'lights up.' Grow up, for God' sake.
Anything yellow. Just not my color, folks.
Speedos. On a skinny little kid taking swimming lessons, they're OK--past 25 or so, they're just an act of universal cruelty.
Five favorite toys:
Did somebody say Xbox?
The cat is a toy, right?
2-XL. That robot 8-track player from the late 70s? Anybody remember that? Best toy I ever got.
Stretch Armstrong. Did you know that when Stretch Armstrong is in a swordfight and gets stabbed that he bleeds a thick blue liquid that coagulates on the floor of your closet and has to be professionally sanded off? I found that out the hard--and painful--way. It was still worth it.
Does this category include sex toys? No? Good, because--that is--I mean, not that I ever--all right, enough of this s***!!! I quit!
posted by Yr. Hmbl. & Obdt. | 11:37 AM
4 Comments:
Hee hee hee hee. Loved this post. Glad it went well.
Definitely with you on the green onion dip. Completely not on the Xbox.
Well, of course I've had to give up the Xbox. I agree, it's just not acceptable anymore.
(Pause.)
Not when there's that kick-ass Xbox 360 available! Woo-hoo! (I swear to God, this addiction is my only resemblance to a pathetic slacker. Well, that, and my perennial dateless status.)
Dateless? What am I, chopped chicken liver?
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